You’ve literally completed everything off of your checklist.
Take the grad photos ✅
Graduate college with a good GPA ✅
Secure a full-time job ✅
Sign the offer letter ✅
Say bittersweet goodbyes to friends, family, and your collegetown ✅
…but now you’re just sitting here waiting.
We spend our whole lives looking to the future and planning our next step. Most of us have a 1-year, 5-year, or 10-year ideal plan of where we see ourselves and the goals we want to accomplish. During high school, we’re trained to focus on getting the best grades, doing all the extracurriculars, and crafting the perfect essays to get into our dream college. Then, we get to college and fall into the same routine of balancing our personal and academic lives to work towards the dream job or graduate school or fellowship. Nothing ever feels enough, and the cycle is never-ending. Even as we graduate and start our post-college jobs, we still are thinking about that next step, whether it be law school, business school, or what we want our careers to be.
But, recently, I have been in this weird life gap that I like to call “The Post-Grad Limbo.” I did all the things I needed to do in college: got the grades, poured myself into organizations I cared about, and made lasting relationships. I was even lucky enough to get an offer from a fantastic company. I don’t know if it is my dream job, per say, but I am excited to start working and gain from the experience. However, ever since graduating college, I found myself at an uneasy standstill. I had a 3-month gap between school and work and simply didn’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting alone and with friends and changed my perspective on what this period of life could mean, and I think it could be helpful for anyone who finds themself in a similar phase of life.
I’ve been told that I don’t know how to take a break, and I would probably accurately guess that 90% of you reading have been told the same thing. I used to love hearing that – surely it meant I was hard working, dedicated, and ambitious. But, I don’t think it’s a compliment anymore, and it just means I never gave myself permission to stop or take time for myself. For the past four years, there was always something lingering: an assignment, an application, a meeting, a looming exam. Even “breaks” were filled with summer internships and study abroad programs. Graduation forced me to take the downtime I’ve avoided, and it forced me to be, well, unproductive. Yes, I’ve been studying for the LSAT, but most of my day has been empty. The first month drove me crazy: I would work out in the morning, do a bit of LSAT prep, scroll aimlessly through TikTok, browse Netflix unsuccessfully, go on a walk, sleep, then repeat. Every day felt the same, and at first, it sucked.
It can also be hard to see everyone else moving forward and starting jobs. I often felt frustrated that I was behind or somehow not doing enough. All that to be said, I want to share some of the advice I’ve gotten recently on how to feel okay with the uncertainty and navigate the post-grad limbo.
- It’s all about the mindset
- If you keep telling yourself you’re behind or lacking, then, naturally, you’re going to feel that way. Even though it often feels like it, life is not a race and a finish line simply doesn’t exist. Some healthy competition is always good motivation, but it should not be your primary driver. At the end of the day, each of us is on our own paths that may intersect from time to time but not indefinitely. The more you keep measuring yourself up to your peers, the greater the frustration and anxiety will be. You are your biggest competition, and all you can do is strive to be a better version of yourself than you were a year ago, or even yesterday. Instead of telling yourself you’re being unproductive, change the definition of “productivity.” Reading for 30 minutes a day or prioritizing your physical health is still a version of being productive! I would argue that spending a reasonable amount of time on your phone or watching TV is also productive because it is exactly what your mind needs at the moment – a break.
- Take the time to breath
- As boring and uneasy as this transition in life can be, it’s essential. I found myself getting antsy during this three-month gap. I was itching to start work, worrying about law school applications (even though I’m not even applying for at least two years), and stressing about every aspect of life. I knew this was normal because whenever you have time on your hands, it’s so easy to get in your head about every little thing. You need to remind yourself that you will eventually get to the future. All you can do is focus on the present and appreciate this phase of your life. This little breather is yet another era of growth, which leads to my next point.
- Do something for yourself
- Yes, this could be the classic post-grad Europe trip done by most people on our social media feeds. I always support traveling and experiencing the world, but I also know that trips are expensive! You don’t always have to think big when you think about doing something for yourself. I’ll give you some examples of what Dawson and I, as well as some of our friends, have done since graduating college: cooking weekly recipes, visiting family, exploring new places (for Dawson, and me, it has been Atlanta), trying new fitness activities, painting as a hobby, and getting into podcasts to learn more about the world. There is so much out there to do and learn from, and this break is the perfect time to start exploring options because you have almost NO responsibilities. We spend a lot of time doing things for other people or as part of a bigger goal, but this is a great opportunity to just focus on yourself and your interests. So, sign up for that triathlon, buy a recipe book, go birdwatching, get into your arts and crafts era. Be just a little bit selfish.
- Don’t forget your support system
- This is a strange period of life because all of the friends you spent all of college with are going their separate ways, starting graduate school, going into the corporate world, or moving to new cities. Change is uncomfortable and uncertain, but it doesn’t mean you have to lose the relationships you spent years building. Instead of being cooped up in my room alone, I made an intentional effort to reach out and make plans with friends. We tried new coffee shops, had fancy meals, went on walks, window shopped, and had spontaneous adventures (including drinking a double shot espresso at 10 PM – which I would not recommend doing if you have to wake up at 4 AM the next morning…). If you are at home, like me, then this is the best time to reconnect and spend time with your parents and family! My favorite nights were watching movies with my parents even if all of us were asleep 30 minutes into it. Surrounding yourself with the people you love definitely helps relieve a lot of the anxiety and stress that accompanies the post-grad limbo.
Getting through this period of life didn’t make the original checklist that was in the introduction, but maybe it should be. I think this pause before jumping into real adulting is so necessary, and I personally have learned so much about myself. This time is about grounding yourself, knowing that it is ok to take a break. Also, this period won’t last forever, and despite some of the negative emotions that come with it, it is completely normal. If you’re jumping into the corporate world, like both of us, then taking a break is a game-changer before you start working crazy hours (like Dawson), deal with supervisors, and navigate the unexpectedness of a “9-to-5”. I hope that some of you felt seen through this post and can relate with some of the emotions described here.
At the end of the day, I’m just so glad I don’t have to ever sit in a lecture hall learning about electrophilic substitutions or actin and myosin chains ever again!
